Why your current struggles don't disqualify you

Maybe our journey of faith is a bit like riding a bike. 

If you've ever tried to ride really slowly, you'll know that it's actually harder and far more unsteady than if you get up a faster speed. 

Sometimes our faith is like that. We feel like we're failing on the smaller things, we feel unsteady and inconsistent and like we can't quite get the hang of it. (Whatever it may be - prayer, faith, patience, love...) And we begin to wonder - if I can't get it right at this slow pace, how will I ever be able to handle more? 

But maybe it's like riding a bike. With some momentum on a smooth path (how good that God makes our paths straight!) you might actually find that when more is asked of you the flow of faith will keep you steady and moving, and you won't feel like you have to push it quite so hard to achieve things.

Of course, you do still need more fitness & stamina, and more practice and skill if you want to be a good bike rider who can navigate obstacles, climb hills and go the distance. 

An inexperienced rider who races ahead because they like the feeling of speed could get into trouble if something tries to unseat them and they haven't learned to maintain their balance. 

And they will quickly tire if they try to keep that pace for very long without enough endurance and support. 

In our spiritual lives we can take this as encouragement that what seems like a hard slog now won't always seem that way, and the fitness and practice we are getting now will be vital for the future. 

And we should also remember to encourage and build up others to come along on the ride with us. 

Because when you do pick up speed, you want others with you. 

Think of an elite cycle race where the peloton helps each other. You might have some sprinters who lead the way, but even then they are usually still working in a team with a common purpose. Even the best of the best cyclists need others to draw them onwards, to keep the pace, and to have the slip stream to rest in even as they are moving, if they are going to last the distance. 

We need the same. We need to draw each other on in faith and provide a resting place even while in motion. 

Remember this analogy and don't fear your current struggles disqualify you from any more than slow and struggling, or stuck in training wheels. 

You are learning everything you need, and when the time comes and the pace of what God is calling you to increases, it will be easier than you think. You will find that even though the demands may also increase, you will be ready and able to take your place in the body of other 'riders', and the momentum and flow of the Spirit will draw us all onwards, for the ride of our lives with God!

Where is your treasure?

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Luke 12:34

Where is your treasure? Or in other words, where is your money? What do you spend it on? And in a society where time is also valuable, what do you spend your time on?

Because that will say a lot about where your heart is. Where your priorities are, what your focus is.

In a society where a lot of our time is spent earning money, and that money is then spent on ourselves, I'm not sure that says anything good about our hearts.

Plenty of people will right about now be saying, 'But I earn money to support my family - that's where my heart is.' True, and that's not wrong but I would like to challenge a lot if people to think about the lifestyle they are paying for and whether that is really what their family needs?

My instinct is to tread carefully here, to not upset anyone or make anyone feel bad about earning money or having nice things.

But then another part of me - an increasingly stronger part - starts to feel sick at the disgusting excess in our culture. The selfish state of our lives and hearts. The hypocritical political correctness that prevents us from talking about money while so many suffer.

We are storing up treasures for ourselves here on earth, like that is going to get us somewhere.

'Planning for the future' is not even an excuse. Because most of us are doing it out of fear, the opposite of trusting God - I need my money. I need to take care of me, or who else will?

We spend our time and money on ourselves, on gluttonous businesses without regard for those trampled on to supply them, on building up our wealthy, secure indulgent lives...

We have no time left over for real community. For giving generously to others. For lavishing love. For nurturing relationships.

Where are we storing up our treasure? Is your heart focused on yourself or the kingdom of God?

Don't be afraid. Don't conform to what is expected in our self-centred society. Don't justify or make excuses. Examine yourself. Make room in your heart and life for the ways of God, no matter the sacrifice of time, money or desires for yourself and see the heavenly results. You might just have a change of heart....




Don’t reduce your life to the pursuit of food and drink; don’t let your mind be filled with anxiety. People of the world who don’t know God pursue these things, but you have a Father caring for you, a Father who knows all your needs.
Since you don’t need to worry—about security and safety, about food and clothing— then pursue God’s kingdom first and foremost, and these other things will come to you as well.
My little flock, don’t be afraid. God is your Father, and your Father’s great joy is to give you His kingdom.
That means you can sell your possessions and give generously to the poor. You can have a different kind of savings plan:one that never depreciates, one that never defaults, one that can’t be plundered by crooks or destroyed by natural calamities.

Your treasure will be stored in the heavens, and since your treasure is there, your heart will be lodged there as well.

I’m not just talking theory. There is urgency in all this.

Luke 12:29-36

Faith Muscle Rehabilitation

If anyone has been bed ridden or sedentary after a long illness or bad injury, often they will need some sort of physiotherapy to rehabilitate their muscles. After not being used, muscles atrophy and it can be difficult to make them function normally and with any degree of strength again. I noticed it when I was pregnant and had a long bout of morning sickness that left me bed ridden for a couple of months. Afterwards I found it difficult to do even simple things because my legs were so weak, let alone more strenuous exercise. I didn't do much in particular to strengthen my muscles again due to a combination of laziness and preoccupation with a new baby, but I probably should have. It's taken the better part of a year to feel back to normal, whereas with proper exercises and training it may have only taken a couple of months.

Our faith & love muscles have atrophied. I feel like I'm harping on about the negatives of the western world, but I think out insulated lives have a lot to answer for when it comes to our faith, or lack of it.

I'm not discounting anyone's suffering - there's a lot of very real pain no matter where you are in the world. I just mean that there's a lot we can turn to and rely on before we consider God as our best and only option. It's very easy and all too tempting to become self centred, for life to become all about us and how people treat us, and what others do for us.

We don't have all that much opportunity to exercise our faith and love. Not in real, deep, til-it-hurts kinds of ways. Our faith and love are languishing and need some rehabilitation. We need to start actively seeking ways to use them, and it needs to go beyond the day to day.

Sure, buy someone some flowers. That's nice. But it will be a long slow road to powerful love if that's the extent of our exercise.

If we want real change, real heart revival, real and powerful faith, we need a bit of hardcore physiotherapy. Something that extends us, challenges us, maybe even hurts a little.

Jesus didn't go around giving people flowers and writing get well cards. He healed them.

'They'll know we are Christians by our love' doesn't mean 'by how nice we are'. The love of God goes hand in hand with power.

We need to exercise the love of God in us - we are not meant to be so weak and feeble when it comes to faith and love. And we can't do it alone either. The body is meant to work together. The hand can't move without the arm. What use is a strong foot without a strong leg?

Time for some serious love rehab.

The devil wants to keep you from praying any way he can

The devil wants to do whatever he can to keep you from praying.

He wants you to think you're too tired, busy or full of doubt to pray.

And if he can't keep you from praying all together, he wants you to be weak in prayer, to think it doesn't work or Gods not listening or he's too far away.

He wants to do anything he can to keep you from the kind of prayer where you know that you can go boldly to God with anything, that ANYTHING you ask for will be done.

And if the devil works so hard to keep us from bold, effective prayer, there must be a reason. And that reason is that when we get connected to God, we really do have the authority to trample on snakes and scorpions, to overcome ALL the power of the enemy.

If the devil knows our authority, so should we. Don't let him keep you from it.

Go boldly to God. Pray without ceasing.

Is Jesus enough?

The book Pagan Christianity is an interesting, and for some, a challenging look at the origins of the modern Protestant church traditions and structure. While some find it controversial or dismiss it, I feel no one can deny the main point is true - our modern church looks very little like the early church as it began at Pentecost.

This can be - and should be - challenging when we compare how we 'do church' now and ask ourselves why this is.

Even though I loved the book, I wouldn't advocate (and I don't think the book is advocating this either) just chucking everything we have now out.... Not yet, anyway..... and I wouldn't say the traditions or structure we have now are inherently wrong even if they did have roots in pagan or other customs. But I definitely think as Christians we should all be aware of where our traditions and current church structure comes from, and recognise them as just that - man made traditions and world-imitating structure.

I think this is hard to grapple with for some people. It feels foundation shaking to suggest removing the system they are comfortable with. It is tempting to say we 'need' these rules and structures we have in place within churches otherwise people would do whatever they want, or things may fall apart.

And maybe that is true as things currently stand. Take the hierarchy and policies out of the church organizations and many people would struggle.

But I would suggest, if chaos insued, that is only because we have set it up to be that way - to rely on the hierarchy and system to keep us going.

And what does that say about our faith, if taking away the 'system' and the rules would cause us to fall apart? Do we rely on the pastor to make us a Christian? Do we rely on the system to show us to live? Do we rely on the rules to know how to treat people? Do we rely on the building to know God? Are our foundations on anything other than Jesus?

If we say "we need the structure" then we are essentially saying yes - we are saying we don't know how to be a Christian without the organisation we call church....

We are saying Jesus isn't enough!!

We aren't alone in this. The Israelites did the same thing to God all those years ago. They said He wasn't good enough as their King. They wanted a human king, just like everyone else. They didnt want to be different.

Have we done the same? Have we brought the worlds customs, structures and heirarchical systems into the church because we are more comfortable that way? Because we don't want to be different?

I suspect it is because being different requires much more active effort. It's not always comfortable. And it doesn't allow for passivity.

Are we allowing the pastor to run our faith for us? Are we relying on the structure to help us live as Christians?

Or are we relying on Jesus as Lord of our lives? Are we allowing the Holy Spirit to empower our faith? Are we trusting that God knows how to build his church better than we do?

If we took away everything else holding us up - is Jesus enough?

Did God really say...?

Those four little words, introduced in Eden, have been plaguing our thoughts ever since.

Any time we feel God asking something challenging of us, we hear "Did God really say..." - and I'll bet I'm not the only one tempted to listen.

Or I'll say Yes, but only a 95% yes. The other 5% I've kept back, just incase I think of a way to get out of it in time.

But when confront with the temptation to justify, argue and reason our way out of obedience - sometimes we just have to say YES

And mean it.

Not, "Sure, God, I'll do that" *

*...but you don't really mean it, right?

Really completely surrendering to God's will, whatever it is, can be hard. It is hard to silence the voices and arguments and justifications as to why that can't really be God's will, why there must be a way around it, why we're not sure if we really heard Him, so we won't really commit.

The danger of "Did God really say..."

Think of Abraham. When God asked him to sacrifice his long-awaited son, Abraham must have had reservations. The understatement of the Bible makes it seem like Abraham just got up and did it without much delay. But I can't imagine the man who negotiated with God about Sodom and Gomorrah not having any second thoughts or hesitations, about his own son!

He would have been tempted to justify to himself, to reason it away. God gave me this son, promised him to me, surely he wouldn't want to take him away? I'm sure he would have come up with some pretty compelling reasons as to why sacrificing his own son was not really what God wanted.

Abraham would have been sorely tempted by "Did God really say...?"

And yet he went. He said Yes, and he meant it. No matter how much he would have hoped there was another way, he was willing to obey anyway. To the full extent. If God hadn't stayed his hand, Abraham would have carried through with it.

Chances are, what God is asking us to do hasn't come close to the level of sacrificing our only child any time recently. And yet we are still tempted by "Did God really say...?"

We are tempted to withhold our complete submission, our complete trust, our complete Yes.

It is not a sin to want or ask for a different way. Jesus himself asked for it. But don't let that turn into disobedience. We have to really be willing to give it all, even if we think it's going to cost us dearly.

And we can do it with confidence. Because we know God is just, loving and compassionate. He will always do what is right, good and fair. Even if it hurts in the short term, it will have eternal benefits in the long run. We can trust Him with that - we have to trust Him with that, because to our limited sight, we can't see the big picture like He does. We don't often know what the full outcome of our obedience or disobedience will be.

There have been times when I have been terribly afraid to do something that I knew God had been asking me to do. Sometimes I have justified my way out of it. Given in to "Did God really say..." and missed out. But other times - though I certainly argued first - I have said Yes, without keeping anything back. I'm scared, but I'll do whatever you ask.

Sometimes God has gotten me out of it, at the last minute, like Abraham. Sometimes I've had to go through with it, but have found the outcome of that obedience has results that far outweigh the fear and discomfort of actually following through.

So we say Yes, fully. We take that step of faith and let God help us with the doubts and fears.

Because in the end, everything works together for good. You don't know what God will do.

For Abraham, God spared Isaac. Jesus still had to take our sin on the cross - but aren't we glad he meant it when he said "Not my will, but yours" even in the face of "Did God really say..."

"6 Ways to Kick Fear and Anxiety in the Teeth"

"Borrowed" from Sammy A

This is not my list, but I always figure why reinvent the wheel when someone else has written something that already sums up what I would say myself.

" Posted this on twitter yesterday and it seemed to resonate with some folks so I thought I'd share it on Facebook. Not sure who this is for but here goes. 

Every time I speak, I feel inadequate/nervous or prideful so I wrote these 6 things down in my phone so I can read, remember and meditate on them right before I go on stage: 

1) Be humble: Remember that this is SO much bigger than u. It's not your story. You're not the star of the show. Jesus is.

2) Be faithful: Remember that small is always big in God's story. Do the best that you can with what God has given you. Swing for the fences

3) Have Faith: Remember that God is always working whether u see it or not. He can do more than u can imagine. Play & let him keep the score

4) You're called: Remember that the God of the universe is FOR YOU. He's in your corner. He's in you. He gifted & called you to do this.

5) Take Delight: Remember to have fun. Don't take yourself too seriously. Enjoy God by enjoying what he gifted u to do. It's ok to have fun

6) Holy Spirit: Remember that nothing you do or say matters without him. Only the Spirit of God can change hearts. Good news: He wants to.

There u go folks. 6 things I read from my phone before I speak. Steal it, rip it, make it better. Use it when voices of doubt/fear creep up.

Question: which one did you need to hear or have the hardest time remembering? "


For me, it's every single one! I have always struggled with fear when it comes to doing anything that might put me in the spotlight. I would stay home from school to try and avoid having to give a speech. If I even answered a question and everyone turned to look at me, I'd go red. 

And now, I'm much more comfortable with the distance created by a computer screen, that talking face to face. But I feel God calling me to speak up... and it's a little terrifying.

But I've got to remember - it's not about me. I'm not trying to bring glory to myself, but to God. And God doesn't get tongue tied.

I can't be half hearted, just so I've got something to blame failure on. Go big and take the risk.

What looks small to me in the natural, can mean big things for the Kingdom of God.

God is for me. He's not setting me up for humiliation. (So any humiliation I feel is another issue I need to take to God.)

It is fun. It is a joyful thing to be used by God, to rely on Him fully. 

The Holy Spirit does the work, creates the change and draws people. Not me. 

I can relax!

Don't skip the small or you might not survive the big

I dream of a big life, of changing the world, of doing big things that really matter.

But then sometimes, I'm too afraid to do the little things.

I just want to skip over them. As if they are too little to matter. Too little to spend energy on. Too little to take a risk on. I just want to get to the big stuff.


"God, I'll not deny you even in the face of torture and death!...just please don't make me talk to a stranger...."


I know deep down that if I can't do these little, day to day things, if I can't trust God to be faithful in the small and seemingly insignificant, then I'm not going to survive the big stuff.

Sure, God might still use me. He might even do big and powerful things with me, even if I struggle with the little. But I might not survive it.

I might not even get there in the first place - I won't be ready for the opportunities when they come. But even if I did get to those big, life changing things I want to be a part of, even if in the power of God I could handle it at the time, I think ultimately I wouldn't survive it in the long run.

All those lessons you learn in the small stuff - the patience, the faith, the prayer, the commitment, the perseverance, the resilience, the eye for the big picture even in the face of set backs - if you skip over them, you might still fly high and bright for a few moments, but you will burn out fast.

God can still use you to impact people, because He is God, and it is always Him working, and not you. But if you want Him to use you for the long haul, if you want your life to be dedicated to changing hearts and lives forever and not just a brief moment, don't skip the small. You never know how those little lessons will serve you later on.

Sometimes I sense God prompting me to do something that scares me a little. Not something particularly momentous, just something that takes a step of faith outside of my comfort zone. (This normally means speaking, or putting myself on the spot, where there is potential for embarrassment.)

My first instinct is to dodge it. How can I get out of this? How can I justify it away so that I convince myself it isn't really important whether I do it or not?

Then when I realise I can't get out of it, I try to renegotiate the deal. Can I write it, instead of speaking? Can I just talk to a couple of people, instead of all of them? How can I do this so I feel like I'm doing what I'm told, but it's still within my comfort zone?

I do this because I'm afraid God won't really show up. Or that people won't understand and I'll look foolish. Or that I'll put myself on the line of hoping for something big, but it turns out to be something small.

Because I think often our definition of big and significant is different to God's. We think if we speak and the whole room doesn't fall to their knees praising God, then it wasn't big, then it didn't really matter.

Don't get me wrong, I hope and pray we all see thousands coming to Jesus.

But before we get to the big, we've got to be satisfied with the seemingly small. Because God sees the big picture, the foundation He is laying now, and all the little pieces that go in to the whole story He is writing.

Speak to one person, no matter the potential for failure and embarrassment. Say or do those things God is prompting you to do, no matter what you fear the consequences will be.

Maybe God will surprise you by showing up in bigger ways than you expected. And I'm sure He's planting seeds that we aren't always aware of.

If there's one thing we can count on, it's that God is faithful.

But maybe He doing more than just puffing up your self confidence. Maybe, even when you act with obedience and not much seems to happen, God is preparing you. He's training you to recognise His voice. He's teaching you to act quickly without hesitation. He's teaching you to have faith and see with your spiritual eyes, not just the natural where it appears nothing is happening.

He's teaching you to trust Him, no matter what.

These little steps and little moves matter - one day you will live in the fruit of those small steps of obedience. So when the big moves for God come, and the inevitable big obstacles and attacks follow, you will have no doubt of God's faithfulness, and no doubt of the sound of His voice.

What about those who haven't heard?

This question has bothered me sometimes - what about the people in the world who have never had the chance to hear about Jesus? What happens to them?

But it doesn't bother me for the reasons you might think. It's not because I worry God is being unfair to them. I know in my heart that this is not some conundrum that God forgot to take into account, and that He has an answer to it.

It bothers me because I don't know how to give an answer to other people.

It doesn't sound very satisfying to say, "It'll be alright, God's got it under control" if it is something that someone is burdened by. But I do sometimes want to say, "Do you think God didn't considered this?"

One factor I think is worth mentioning is that even for people who have heard about Jesus, it isn't just the act of hearing someone talk about Him that brings people, it is the Spirit that draws people and reveals Himself to them.

So I feel confident that when God wants to He is perfectly capable of revealing Himself to people in a myriad of ways. He is not limited by our speech, though he does want to use us.

But when I read John 15:22, I had another thought.

Jesus said, "If I had not spoken within their hearing, they would not be guilty of sin; but now they have no excuse for ignoring My voice."

Perhaps there is an answer in that - that those who have never heard about Jesus are not guilty of sin because they haven't had the choice yet.

Another thing that bothers me about this question, other than not having a concise answer, and other than people underestimating God, is that I feel hidden within the question is a misunderstanding of why we share the gospel. People worry about whether or not these people will go to heaven if they die unconverted. I feel there is a terribly underwhelming amount of concern, love and Christ-like compassion for people's lives while they are still physically living.

Because sharing the good news is not simply to hand out tickets to heaven to those poor 'uncivilised' heathens. It's so that people's lives will transformed now, so they know God now, and live in His love now.

It's not about getting out and imposing our western brand of religion on to every culture we meet, but about introducing people to the God who created them, and Jesus who died and rose so they could have life and freedom in Him.

And while I'm sure there are lot more people who need to be getting out there and sharing Jesus with people,  is it bad that I sometimes feel God would be better revealed to some people through the wonder of nature, through the miracle of the life around them, rather than through our words and religion?

Clearly, I still don't have a concise answer to this big question. 

But I trust, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God has the answer and cares about His children.

Perhaps the real question is, What are we doing with our faith?

It is those of us who have heard His voice I am more worried about. What's our excuse?

Living like Jesus is right beside you

The other day I was doing something as simple as making a cup of tea, and I started to imagine, what would it be like to have Jesus physically standing beside me in my kitchen. God has been revealing and healing a lot in me lately, I had been praying for Him to make it easier. I didn't want to struggle any more, for it to be a hard slog to find the 'new creation' I know is in there somewhere.

And so I was imagining how much easier it would be if Jesus was right there next to me. How much peace I would feel, how changed I would be without even trying.

Then - perhaps with a little holy prompting - it dawned on. Jesus is there.

Maybe I can't see him with these physical eyes, but don't we as Christians believe that the Holy Spirit was sent to us for exactly that. To be the presence of God with us - not just beside us, but living in us?

How had I forgotten this simple but profound fact?

I ran straight to my computer, because it seemed too important, that moment, that I wanted to capture it in words, to post it as a blog so that others could be reminded too. But as I tried to write I couldn't find the words. I left the post unfinished. It just didn't seem to be the time to write it.

Instead I went and danced around my living room with a intense - if fleeting - feeling of joy that Jesus was right there with me.

Little more than a week later - unaware of these thoughts and ideas I had been pondering, for I had not told anyone yet, still unsure how to express it - my mum pointed me in the direction of Forgotten God by Francis Chan.




That is where I read these words, expressed exactly as I had been thinking but unable to put in to words:

"Right now, imagine what it would be like to have Christ standing beside you in the flesh, functioning as your personal Counselor. Imagine the peace that would come from knowing you would always receive perfect truth and flawless direction from Him. That sounds amazing, and none of us could deny the benefit of having Jesus here physically, guiding and enabling us every step of the way.

"Yet why do we assume that this would be any better than the literal presence of the Holy Spirit?" 

This is definitely a theme lately - and it is a challenging and life changing question. Why are we not living as if Jesus is right beside us, when He has done one better - He lives in us!

That fleeting joy I felt that morning, shouldn't that be a permanent thing? God was not any more real or any closer to me that morning than He is every other minute of every day. I just don't notice most days.

It baffles me how I - how many of us - have been living as Christians for so long with such heavy blinders on that we have not noticed that we are missing something.

If our lives are not radically changed by the knowledge that God actually lives IN us - something that is even better than being a person physically beside us - why aren't we saying, "This doesn't seem right. This isn't enough."

I am in no doubt God is doing a new thing, that He wants to reawaken the Spirit within us.

Are you ready? Are you willing? Or have you let yourself become content with sleepwalking through your Christian life?

You Don't Know Who You Are Until You're Tested

When I was in Year 11, I thought I wanted to work with little children - until I did work experience in a kindy.

Before I was married, I thought I was selfless.

Before I had a baby, I thought I was patient.

Before I was called to give freely, I thought I was generous.

Once I was tested with all these things, I realised I wasn't as kind, loving, selfless, patient and generous as I thought. Ouch.

It can be hard to see yourself in a new light - and so sometimes we shy away from anything challenging or testing because we know it's going to show up who we really are. We have to face up to reality; no longer can we just hold an image in our heads of how we'd like to think of ourselves.

It hurts.

But I finally understand this verse...

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  James 1:2-4


It doesn't necessarily feel like joy in the midst of the pressure and testing. Lately I feel like I've been tested a lot, and I was starting to feel down. I was starting to not like what I saw. Everything I thought I was, was being broken down and I was starting to wonder what would be left...

But think about it...

If I didn't face up to the reality that I can sometimes (often) be self-centred, I wouldn't still be married.
If I didn't work on my patience, I wouldn't get along with my daughter, or anyone else.
If I didn't realise my need to be more cheerfully generous, I couldn't be used by God to help others.

If I wasn't tested, I'd be alone, stingy and materialistic. And unhappy.

So I consider it pure joy!

Rather than walking around with an idealistic view of myself, but nothing real to show for it, I am discovering who I really am in Christ.

Because in Christ I am a new creation - once the reality of who I am is exposed, my faith grows, and the fruit of the Spirit begins to replace my broken nature.


Don't shy away from testing. Don't settle for a pale imitation of being a 'good person' - let your faith be tested and just watch and see how God can use you! Wait and see the real fruit your life will produce!

God cares about your ordinary

For some reason I find it much easier to believe that God cares about the big things in our lives than the little, ordinary things. (And I say 'easier', not 'easy' because I still don't always find it easy to have faith.

But I can pray about a big disaster or a major decision and have faith that God cares. But when it comes to the everyday, some part of me figures he's got better things to do.

But recently my 4 month old daughter's sleep switch seemed faulty. A wonder week they call it. But what it means is if you put her down it basically triggers her eyes to open... and the rocking and bouncing and feeding recommences.

I've been surprised at how little sleep I can actually function on since having a baby, and so I guess I just got used to it being the status quo. Just something I had to deal with in this phase of life. So I while I gave the odd desperate prayer, like 'God, please, please put her to sleep' I didn't really think about him being too worried about it.

Then just the other night I was gearing myself for another cycle of putting her to sleep, I thought - why wouldn't God care about this? It is affecting me negatively because I have no time for anything else; and when I'm tired I give less to my husband, less to my daughter, and less to anything else God wants from me. And if my daughter isn't sleeping properly, it could affect her mood and learning and growth as well. Why wouldn't God care about that?

So my only conclusion was that he would care. And if he cares about it, then I can confidently expect his help.

So I prayed. As I bounced on the exercise ball with my squirming daughter in my arms I prayed for peace, and sleep, and rest. Healing, growth-supporting rest.

She fell asleep within minutes.

And she stayed asleep.

Over the night I continued to pray. Any time she stirred when it wasn't for feeding, I prayed. And she slept. She slept in until 7.30 - the first time she has slept past 6am for a while now.

I don't know if I am conveying the real meaning of this - you may just be thinking - so... your baby slept? So? Babies sometimes do that...

So if my point is not coming across, I hope you will take my word that I could sense God with me all night, protecting my daughter even as I slept. His hand on us was so real to me, it brought me near to tears with gratitude in the kitchen the next morning as I considered it.

God cares about our ordinary.

He multiplied the loaves and fishes so people could do something as ordinary as eat food. Jesus used the ordinary in of everyday life in his parables to explain the kingdom of God. He walked and talked and had compassion on the ordinary people. Throughout the Bible God used the ordinary people to accomplish His purposes.

He not only cares about the ordinary, he created it. There is great value in your ordinary.

And I realised God was also teaching me a lesson. Have faith in the small to practise your faith for the big. Because even though said I find it 'easier' to imagine God caring about the big, that doesn't always translate into having faith that He will actually do something when I pray.

Even when God is calling us on to bigger things in the future, it is your faith during the ordinary that will make you ready for anything God has for you. If you can be trusted with little, if you can have faith when you pray for the small things in life, then you will be trusted with much when the time comes.

Then and Now

What my mornings used to look like.

And what they look like now...




With one obvious addition, they might look pretty similar. Except that what you can't tell is that cup of tea is cold and approximately every 30 seconds I'll reach over to put that green ring back in her hands.

Not much is the same after you have a baby. But I thank God that he is, and even though I have less time for sitting down for devotions, he finds ways to speak to me just the same.

Learning from Hindsight

We all want to know what our purpose is. God, what is your plan for my life? When are you going to reveal it to me?

Sometimes there is a period of waiting before God shows us something. Sometimes God will reveal something specific he wants us to do. But something that hindsight has taught me, is at most often while we are waiting to discover the plan and purpose for our lives, it's already unfolding.

We expect or hope for a sudden flash of revelation. It could happen; Saul/Paul would attest to that. But looking back over my life I see the gradual gentle unfolding of God's plans and purposes. I didn't recognise it while I was in it, but in hindsight I can see such carefully crafted plans and moments and opportunities. I was walking in God's plans already and I didn't even notice.

We should learn from hindsight, and let it give us faith for this moment. No matter how many times I look back and realise, 'So that's what God was doing! Now it all make perfect sense!' I still tend to look back at the present and say, 'Ok, God, what now? Why aren't you doing anything now? I'm getting impatient!'

How quickly we forget.

We keep waiting for that flash if revelation about what our purpose is in life, and then off we'll go. But what difference would it make to you now if you could see that natural unfolding that is already happening? You are already in God's purpose.

You might only see it in hindsight, but have faith that he is working now. One day you might look back and see that insignificant conversation, that simple moment, those daly decisions all led you to where God wanted you without you even realising.

I used to worry about the decisions I made - 'God, how can I know which is the right decision? What if I make the wrong one and stuff it all up?'

But learning from hindsight I can see that many of the choices that mattered I made without even realising their significance. Especially when I was trusting God and tuned in to his voice.

Of course there will be some decisions that are important, times when we can choose to listen to God or to shut our ears, but they will be made plain to us. I believe that if in our hearts we want to follow God and hear his voice guiding us, even if we don't know how, he will lead us.

Learn from hindsight - look back and recognise the times God had been leading you even when you didn't know it at the time. Have faith that he is doing the same right now, even if you don't see it!

Project 3:11 - Unexpected outcomes

Project 3:11 started as a simple experiment to go a year without buying clothes. I planned to take it as a time to think about the way I used my money, and consider how I could help others less fortunate rather than thinking about my own material gain.

But God had more in store.

Not long after starting my no shopping experiment, I became pregnant and most other things took a back seat to the beginning of my family.

I had to buy a few clothes, or I would have literally had to wear nothing once my belly got too big to just stretch my tops over. But I still limited my purchases to a minimum - I think I only bought a total of 5 pieces of clothing in the year period I had set myself.

Because of pregnancy and morning sickness and all that goes with it, I didn't really have a chance to explore the subject like I was going to but over the last year or so, both my husband and I have come to knew understandings and new attitudes about money and possessions.

It just goes to show that when God puts something on your heart, it is Him at work, even when it seems like life gets in the way. His purposes still prevail - we don't have to worry. We just have to be obedient and willing to listen to his voice. Once we let Him in, He does the rest.

My husband has even given up guaranteed job security to put his faith in God to provide, and open the doors He has said he will. We are not completely sure of the path God is leading us on yet, but we are open to wherever he takes us.

The results of listening to God's promptings often takes us to unexpected, but ultimately perfect places.

Sometimes the lessons can seem hard and maybe even painful - letting go of worry about what others think, of the guarantee of a steady income, going against the status quo... it can be scary to take that leap of faith. But it is often only a perception of coming pain that frightens us; in the reality after we do leap, we find no matter where it takes us God has already gone before and prepared a way.

We can walk boldly in to anything that God has set before us knowing we go with his protection and power.

So the unexpected results of Project 3:11 went far beyond just curbing a shopping habit, and reached into the very fabric of our family values and the direction of our lives. Totally God, and not down to me. I was too busy watching my belly grow to even notice it was happening.

It's only now that I look back over the last year, and over the years before that, and see the path that God has been gently coaxing us along the whole time.

And because God did it, it was almost easy. The times it was hard were usually because I took my eyes of Jesus and started worry, like Peter stepping out of the boat and then looking away to the wind and the waves.

Money has become much less of a focus, a career for the sake of getting rich is not our goal, and the purposes of God are far more important and fulfilling than any amount of security money can buy.

And we have learned a lot of lessons about complete faith. We have a long way to go to even reach mustard seed size I'm sure, but they have been valuable lessons.

And our journey is not the same as anyone elses - just because we have given up full time work or secure positions does not mean God is asking everyone to do the same. Just because I felt called to considered my shopping and spending habits doesn't meant everyone else needs to also.

But I think there are clear ideas all Christians should be considering in their lives
- We cannot serve both God and money/possessions/materialistic concerns (Matt 6:24)
- We should not be defined by our outward appearance (1 Sam 16:7, 1 Peter 3:3-4)
- We should be looking for the approval of God before the approval of others (Gal 1:10)
- Every good thing is a gift from God - while we may have worked to earn the money, who gave us    the ability and skills and opportunity to work in the first place? (Dueteronomy 8)
- Everything is God's, we are custodians and stewards. We should give freely out of that. (Genesis 1:1, Psalm 24:1, Luke 6:38)
- We are working ultimately for God, not for men. (Col 3:23)
- We should focus on storing up heavenly treasures, not earthly ones. (Matt 6:20)

And in any area of our lives, when we take steps of faith for God we can be sure...

He cares about our needs.
He will provide for us.
He will bless us with an abundance.
He will never leave us nor forsake us.


Look at the birds - they don't toil and reap, and yet our Heavenly Father provides for them. Aren't we so much more valuable than these? How much more will God care for us? (Matt 6:26)





Go Here for the other posts on Project 3:11

To become a better prayer, you have to do more than pray.

While browsing Pinterest I saw a pin that said "To become a better runner, you have to do more than run".

I thought about that. To be a good runner, you obviously do have to run. A lot. But if you want to become a great runner, you have to do more training than that. You have to stretch and keep flexible and protected against injury. You have to do different types of exercises and drills to keep your muscles in shape, your aerobic and anaerobic systems firing, and your overall fitness level high. You even have to eat and drink the right things.

I wondered - is it the same in our spiritual lives?

I think a lot of people want to be better pray-ers. How often have you sat down alone to pray and given up after a few minutes of feeling like you are talking to the air? Or have you avoided praying out loud in a group because you feel inept? Or prayed out loud but worried over every stilted word?

How often have you really seen results from your prayers?

There might be some (or many) of us who will never be great runners, but we are all built with the capacity to be great prayers. It's what we were made for.

Adam and Eve were the first great prayers - but their prayer just looked like walking and talking with God. We were made for that - to walk and talk with God as father and friend. It's meant to be the most natural thing in the world.

Sin separated us. But Jesus was sent to bring God's kingdom to us here, and we have access to that now through the Holy Spirit. We are meant to be great prayers.

So what's stopping us? Why does it sometimes seem like we barely know how to walk, let alone run, when it comes to prayer?

I think we should approach it more like a runner. An athlete competing in the Olympics doesn't just front up to the starting line after just sitting on the couch for a few months before hand. Not if they want to win. And how much more do we have to gain than a temporary prize?

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 1 Corinthians 9:24-25

And we are fighting an uphill battle. That direct connection to God through prayer is going to be the last thing the devil wants you to have - he's going to make it difficult for you. Making prayer life unsatisfying and seemingly pointless in one of the best weapons in his arsenal.

Prayer does more than just let God know about our needs and problems - he already knows all that. Prayer helps us know God. We get close to his thoughts, and get to know his plans.

So how to we 'train' to pray?

It's not just about becoming more eloquent or verbose. That's like a person putting on fancy shoes and a fashionable outfit and expecting it to win them the race.

We do all the things that God has given us to exercise our spiritual muscles. We read the Word. We fellowship with others. We pour out love.

We continue to pray, even when it hurts. Even if it's just a few words of, "God, I don't even know what to say."

The closer we get to God, the more we hear Him, the better prayer will get. It will never be what it was designed to be until we see Jesus again, but it doesn't have to be the stale, painful exercise that many feel it is right now.

Prayer is powerful. Prayer goes deep. Prayer brings us right to the feet of God.

Exercise your muscles and have faith that God wants you to hear him.

Spiritual rain vs spiritual sprinkler

There's something about rain for plant growth. It's different to just watering with a hose or a sprinkler. The grass we are growing from seed just seemed to spring up suddenly after a couple of days of good rain, compared to when were just watering it ourselves.

Spiritually, that's what a lot of us are doing now - just watering our spiritual lives from the reserves we have - reserves God has given us through our faith, the Bible & prayer - but it's not as effective as what is to come. It's a place holder - keeping us alive and ready to spring to life when the soaking rain of God falls.

'Your best life'

"Your best life". I hate that phrase. I've seen it as the tag line for churches, and I hate it. Because everyone is looking at that tag line, and I just know the life they are thinking of. They are thinking of this earthly, temporary one. They are thinking 'how do I get my best life, right now?'

Is that really your best life? Is this best part of your existence?

As Christians, why aren't we looking past the physical to see what our 'best life' should really look like?

I've been wrestling with decisions lately that have made me really contemplate what living my 'best life' looks like - and I'm finding that sometimes the best life according to Jesus is going to look like craziness to other people. How do you explain to a world fixated on having and earning and gaining, that I'm taking time - unpaid, financially unprofitable time - to study the Word of God, to sit at the feet of Jesus, to live in faith that what I'm sowing into right now, though it's not putting money in the bank, it's going to pay off so much more richly? How do you explain that?

Well, you can't really. People are going to think you are wasting your time. They are going to wonder why you seem to be just sitting there when there are things to be done.

I guess it depends on where you are sitting. If you are just sitting down in front of the TV, well, they're probably right. Why are you just sitting there?

But if you are sitting at the feet of Jesus - if you are truly waiting on him and letting him lead you no matter where it takes you - then you have 'chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from [you].' Luke 10:42

Other things to look at:


http://sammyadebiyi.com/blogs/sammy-adebiyi/butt-chins-forehead-feet-and-jesus

The biggest defences around our biggest insecurities

It's funny how often the things we feel like we least have to worry about, turn out to be the things that trip us up. Did I say funny? I meant ironic and annoying.


It could be the old 'pride before a fall' - we stop paying attention because we think it's all ok, and it gets away from us.


But sometimes it's because we are fooling ourselves.


Have you ever heard someone boasting about their skills and talents? Telling you how great their life is? If you don't immediately dismiss them thinking they are conceited and just don't know how to be humble, you may get the sneaking suspicion that they aren't all as together as their bluster is trying to prove.


We do this to ourselves, and it's a lot harder to pick. You rarely ignore yourself for being boastful and blustery.


What do you find yourself justifying? For what aspects of your life do you find yourself coming up with convincing arguments about why it's all ok? What are the biggest obelisks of personal pride in your life, the things that you will hold on to no matter what anyone else says? The things you are tempted to pursue and continue, even if others don't like it? The things you to which you say 'they just don't understand'?


Chances are, if you have to have conversations with yourself about something, you're putting up defences. 


We build the biggest defences around our biggest insecurities. 


I have been learning how to examine myself this year - to pull apart all my thoughts on shopping (through Project 3:11), on travelling and other dreams I equated with my identity and worth, on family life, marriage and being a woman.


In all these areas there were things that I was guarding and protecting, putting up fronts to convince everyone that I was secure in who I was. The problem with putting up a facade of security is that behind the scenes you are denying yourself the chance to actually be who you are. Who God created you to be.


We often pick up things - experiences, beliefs, behaviours - that at one time made us feel a spark of confidence, of self worth, of meaning and purpose. They did it once, and so we carry them with us, continuing to pursue those things hoping they will continue to work.


They may have started as good things. The problem is, we turn the things - our talents, our dreams, our ideas - into the objects of our pursuit instead of the One who gave us those things. And while we are busy chasing things that rapidly lose any ability to define us like they once did - and were only a pale reflections to begin with - we are missing the chance to get the real thing.


What have you put the biggest defences around? What are you holding on to most tightly to make you feel secure in who you think you are, or are meant to be?


If it's anything other than your identity and worth in God, then maybe it's time to examine these idols.


For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work. 1 Corinthians 3:11-13


It's not easy. I notice some things that feel so ingrained, so embedded in the bedrock of my emotional foundation, that it feels horribly unnerving to even imagine dislodging them.


But the amazing thing is, I don't have to do it alone. In most cases, I don't even have to do it at all.


If we start trying to pull everything apart ourselves, we will just end up dismantling our lives and being left with rubble. But if we are willing to surrender to God, to open our inmost selves up to Him, then he will take those things that aren't meant to be there and remove them. He takes those things out with more precision than the most skilled surgeon.


There have been things in my life that I have felt like I was struggling with forever, that I was convinced I would struggle with forever - nothing I tried seemed to be able to change it - and then in one moment with God...it was gone.


And unlike surgery, there hasn't been more damage done. You don't have to lie for weeks in a hospital bed and hope you don't get an infection.


And what you realise is, that thing you thought was to big, too foundational, too ingrained to move without everything else crumbling - you were never actually relying on it after all. Your self worth and value wasn't built on it at all. It was a false foundation. All this time you were built on God; everything is resting on him.


Any time God takes something out of our lives, it's a paradox. Normally if you take something away, there's a hole, an emptiness, a lack. But with God, if he takes it away, that space is filled with more of Him. You realise that thing you thought was too important to let go of, that you relied on too much to give over, was actually making you feel less worthy, less satisfied, less whole.


If you look around your life and notice some whopping great defences, don't be afraid to look behind them. Let God in to those places and you won't regret it.


Without those, you give God more room to fill your life with His purpose. The real thing is always better than a pale imitation.


Lay it down. Aren't you tired of carrying that heavy burden all by yourself? Aren't you tired of trying to hold up those defences?


I beg you to offer your lives as a living sacrifice to him. Romans 12:1 


My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26


"Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new Spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put My Spirit within you". Ezekiel 36:26-27.

Blogging through...Sharpening the Cutting Edge #3

After the bulldozer incident (Blogging through #2), John was taken to prison, under a serious threat of execution. One thing to take from that is the inspiration, of being willing to risk imprisonment and execution for our faith, for the good of others.

But it was Glena's response (John's wife) that really struck a note with me. When she was told by a reporter that her husband was in prison and could be executed she said, "Praise the Lord".

Oh, for a faith like that.

She was of course not glad that John was in danger, but she said, "he's always preached this commitment to human need and rights, and now he has the privilege of living it."

Would we respond like that?

I think we often think of what we ourselves would do if we were in danger because of our faith or standing up for others. That's one issue. I'd like to think I would not back down, that I would value the lives of others and my love of God over my own physical wellbeing. I would hope I could cling to the certainty of eternal life with God over my temporary physical life.

But what do they do in all those movies when they really try and get to someone? They go after the people they love.

What would I do when someone I love was in danger? Would I be able to say "Praise the Lord" because they have the opportunity to live out their faith, even if it means their death? And when I said "Praise the Lord" would I mean it, or would I be fall apart inside?

I don't know. I guess you can't know, until it's tested.

But if I crumble at the first sign of trouble in my life that is relatively extremely safe, I wonder how strong will I really be when the big stuff comes. (And I say when, not if.)

While I am here in my nice, safe life, I will practise my faith and build that muscle. In every situation, I will say "Praise the Lord".