I don't think homosexuality is the way God intended it. For families.
But also, I don't think an abusive man who torments his wife and children is the way God intended it.
Neither is a selfish and damaged woman who can't fully love her children because she doesn't love herself.
I think the ideal is to have two parents, a man and a woman, to provide a stable environment and to point to the relationship between us and God. I know from my own life how much my relationship with God was affected by not always having an earthly father to look to and see a reflection of the nature of my heavenly father.
But I also I see a lot of children with two parents who are far worse off than I was. I still had a loving mother and a Christian community of people, while they only have two very damaged parents. I think there are a lot of gay couples who would probably do a better job of raising a more secure and loved child than many heterosexual couples are currently doing.
I don't think homosexuality is something to be aimed for as the ideal for a family, but I think equally there are many other things we are aiming for in life even though they are not the ideal either. Why then is homosexuality held up as the biggest evil, as if it can somehow be a greater sin than anything else? What are we trying to take attention from in our own lives? Are we using homosexuality as a scapegoat?
I am fully aware of my own limited understanding, and my own inability to completely separate out social influences, habit and prejudice from what it is I actually believe.
The bottom line is...
We all fall short, and yet God loves us all. Who are we, then, to look at someone God loves and judge or condemn?
I always feel nervous writing about topics like this because it can raise so much controversy and misunderstanding. I hope my words convey that I am questioning, and mean everything I say in love, and not as an attack on any side.
Feel free to weigh in on this discussion with your own thoughts and experiences, but with love and compassion (and a full awareness of the log in your own eye over the speck in anyone else's!)