I've spent a long time wanting God to use me in big ways. I've spent a ,LNG time being impatient, quite frankly.
But when I look back in hindsight a few years later, I'm so ate full to God that He knew better and didn't give me what I was asking for then, because I can see now that I was totally and completely not ready for it. It would have overwhelmed me. I hadnt learned to trust God enough, I hadn't learned to manage my time, my health enough, I hadn't learned much of anything enough. But I didn't realise that at the time. I thought I was ready for more, and felt frustrated that God wasn't giving it to me.
So, thank you God that you know better!
But, ok, that was then. I'm ready now, right? Enough waiting already.
I never learn, clearly.
But as I go, I find I am learning more and more to see how inadequate I am currently and not just in hindsight. God has been revealing my weaknesses to me, not to condemn me, but to humble me, to heal me, and to help me understand how to rely on Him.
I have a terrible feeling that the day I truly grasp how unqualified and incapable I am of doing anything - the day I think to myself, "Actually, I'm not ready for any of this" - that will be the day God hands me the big stuff....
Because when we think we can do it, that's when we'll stumble. We forget to rely on God.
And when we know we can't, that's when His power is made perfect in weakness.
So if you think you're ready and up for the challenge - there may be some humbling and training on the way first.
And if you know you're completely un-ready... Watch out ;)