Monday, February 14, 2011

Valentine's Day doesn't need to make you Vulnerable.

It's amazing how one day can have so much of an effect on us. Whether we admit it or not, most of us can think of a time when Valentine's Day has come around like a kick in the face. Especially when you're in high school. No matter how much you say "This day is stupid" to everyone you see, somehow by the end of the day you still feel inadequate because you didn't get some cheap gift from guys you probably don't really like anyway. Or more invisible when that guy you have been wanting to notice you, still doesn't.

I've never really celebrated Valentine's Day. But that doesn't stop it from coming around. And unless you stay in bed all day, it's going to confront you at some time during the day especially if you're feeling vulnerable.

My suggestion is to redefine the day for yourself. Rather than thinking about the 'love' you're not getting from others and think about what love really is. Most of the time on Valentine's Day, if we're feeling bad it's normally not about real Love. We feel insecure, unpopular, or unnattractive. And normally we're comparing ourselves to other people and basing our value on what others think of us.

I like to think about it differently. I take Valentine's Day as a chance to remember the love God has for us - the kind of love that is shown through him choosing to create us personally, and to send his son to die for us! We never need to feel insecure about his love for us.

And it's the kind of love that, as we realise the fullness of it for ourselves, spills over onto other people. Other people who may not know that this love exists.

So why not do things for other people on Valentine's Day (and every day, but lets use this day as a reminder). When you stop waiting around for someone to make you feel good, and do things for others you often end up feeling far better. When you give away love, it doesn't diminish, it increases.

This year I've made cup cakes for the staff at school just as a little gesture of appreciation. One year when I was in high school I gave a little heart chocolate and a note to every student in the school (it was a small school :)  The times that I did things like that, I may still have had a feeling in the back of my mind of "Has anyone noticed me?" but it was quickly outweighed by the thought of making someone else happy. Even if brightened the day of maybe one person who was feeling vulnerable then that's enough.

Do something for others, and something that reminds you of your worth and value, and God's love for you. Make cupcakes for your friends. Write letters to friends or family members telling them how much you love and appreciate them. Have a Valentine's Party with friends - not a pity party, as in 'poor us, we're all single', but a party that celebrates your friendship and the fun you have together.

Thank God for creating you and for all the wonderful qualities and talents he has given you. God doesn't make mistakes!

What are your ideas for an uplifting and self-pity free Valentine's Day?


  1. This msg is exactly what I needed to read today. Thank you.

  2. This msg is exactly what I needed to read today. Thank you.